If I Were

IF I WERE...

If I were precious

I think to myself

If I were unique

I say to myself

There will be no pain for me

Only gain for me

I’ll tower over the rest

If I were a gem

They would stand and stare

Sparkling leaving them in awe

Only look but don’t touch

If I were a diamond

I’d be cut and black

But not like your hearts

I’d be rare and unseen

Something out of this world

If I were a pearl

I’d be in the depths of the ocean

No man could ever reach

So no one could ever hurt

No evil could ever touch

One day I’d be seen

And millions would vie

If I were a star

I’d be so far

Millions of light years away

All you would do is watch

I would be away from sadness

Glistening gently in your night sky

Sure to never let sorrow come my way

If I were all these things

Deep down inside I’d never be owned

The shine would never wane

A brightness blinding all

Invaluable. Eternal.

Untouchable. Unbreakable

Indestructible.

6th Febraury 1998. 14 years. Feels like yesterday.

If roses grow in heaven

If roses grow in heaven,
Lord please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my Mother's arms
and tell her they're from me.

Tell her I love her and miss her,
and when she turns to smile,
place a kiss upon her cheek
and hold her for awhile.

Because remembering her is easy,
I do it every day,
but there's an ache within my heart
that will never go away.

ANONYMOUS.

I must down to the seas again, the lonely sea and the sky

I must down to the seas again, the lonely sea and the sky

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

John Masefield, Poet Laureate (1878 - 1967)

6th February. 14 years. Feels like yesterday.

If roses grow in heaven

If roses grow in heaven,
Lord please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my Mother's arms
and tell her they're from me.

Tell her I love her and miss her,
and when she turns to smile,
place a kiss upon her cheek
and hold her for awhile.

Because remembering her is easy,
I do it every day,
but there's an ache within my heart
that will never go away.

Anonymous

2012!

2012!!!

Happy New Year people!!

This song sounds like a dreamy journey that 2012 promises to be!

HOPE!!

When I Miss Her

On days when shadows grow close
Moments when I cant reach out
So many times I feel locked in
In the dark and sometimes when its bright
Sometimes its all the time
There are days when I wallow
Pine endlessly, cry incessantly
NO, I'll never move on
And you can't be replaced
I miss you more than words will say

Sometimes emotions are deeper than I can verbalize
Your loss I still haven't come to realize
Maybe you're still around, behind that door?
Standing in the kitchen, singing your favorite songs?
When I was hurt, you came running to me
Its been a while since I saw you
But I believe you're still around
Yet you never come around
I will wait till the day I lay myself down
Maybe someday I'll hear your voice again
Its the one thing I yearn for more than anything in my life
What is this life without you by my side
I miss you, life is now empty, there is no you


I find myself awake at night, alone with my just my thoughts
Do you know I still think of you
That night that won't leave me
Those memories that scar me
Those visions mar my mind
Why do things happen the way they do?
Why are we so helpless, suddenly left with no choices
Must I watch my life fade away?
My heart slip away?
No, its not fair
You must stay
I wish I had a say..


I sat and I prayed
That little boy cried maybe you will come back
But god, they said, had made up his mind
They came and rubbed my shoulders, they stood and watched me cry
In the end they all went home to sleep
Turned their backs on me, but then I never did expect
Secretly I decided to believe you never went away
But then you never answer when I call your name?
Life is so hard, sometimes the pain is so deep
We choose to ignore it and walk on by
Yet sorrow catches up, the more I run, the faster it grips on to me

In my dreams you rarely visit
Where did you go?
One fine day he came and took you away from me
Now I must get by on my own
Living life built on memories
Memories that were never enough to begin with
What do I hold on to?
When I can't even remember too much
I miss you
I will always miss you
Until the day when I meet you again in heaven
Maybe god will apologize
Then we can catch up for the all lost years
The entire lifetime that I spent without you

I miss you
I miss you so much
Words will never be enough..

That sort of night..

Caving in tonight. Its a lonely night here.

Its alright to dive right into sadness sometimes..

Wallowing tonight, maybe you will come around.....

Cry baby, if you must.