2008

2008 - Turning Around

Thank you 2008 for being a year of mixed emotions...a year of extreme joy and also remorse and deep rooted pain.Regret was the theme for most of the year, but you live and learn as they say and regret brought in much needed change. Regret turns into opportunity and also the chance to break free of old chains and the chance to do it all over again glimmers. Regret is therapeutic, its necessary. Its an awakening to me, you realize you shouldn't have let things go the way they did and eventually you do it another way. Hope being the constant!

I live and learn as i type this. I refuse to let bad times cast dark shadows on the year of light! Thanks Neha for the wonderful advice as always :)

V - I miss you at times, but i will not linger, i will say sorry when you come my way this year. I intend to start all over again in terms of being more humane. Thanks for being who you are.

As for me:

I got myself a job that i'm so proud of, I kicked smoking and I quit drinking. I dont need evenings of 'letting go' to get by anymore. I dont need mercy and sympathy shoulders either. Summer was colder than the north pole but winter has brought me strength and faith and renewed optimism. You may not be there with me and you may think i'm indignant without you, but i havent been happier in years. Ive learnt that i can rise in my solitude, Ive learnt that being alone is therapeutic for me. Ive learnt to slow it down and i will cherish the day :)

A few friends said goodbye this year however it made complete sense. In life when you realize your evolving and your finding your true identity it gets plain to see that some people are just not benificial to you during this journey. Sounds a bit selfish but it goes both ways, Iam not good for you either. I hope she will understand that we both needed to grow, we both needed to go our seperate ways and we only bred stagnancy for each other. Resentment and disrespect was all around and we clawed on to memories of years gone by to keep a friendship alive. As hard as it was for me to say bye and as easy it may be for you to think that I was heartless, i do wish you well and i will love you through this. You and i will both shine in our own worlds and one day this untimely end will make complete sense. Hana, i do miss you and i love you. Keep glowing.

I could go on about what else was wrong with the year 2008 but i find it pointless. Instead i will acknowledge how wonderfully emancipating it has been as well, how ive come to terms with so many things i never dreamt i would face so steadfastly. I find myself laughing at some of weaknesses then, i find myself marvelling at how much time i wasted harbouring childish fears. But the new year brings with it so much hope and a new beginning :)

The weary world will rejoice!

2008, thank you for bringing my voice to me...
I will sing my song till i have no voice left
I will go from note to note and scale higher than before
I will sing my song