He's so unusual

Deep passion meshes well with sufferance, i have to accept that. It is a necessary component. We passionate people, hungry to learn more about ourselves will meet pain, and we will say hello and endure it, all the while ensuring that we enjoy every second. Thank you Mr. Allen!

Do you know that this pain is not a bad thing, its wonderful, its bittersweet. It's an enchanting discovery. I celebrate on a big table with white linen cloth and a huge glass of glistening red wine. We ponder over the little things that make our life amusing and interesting. We talk through this and we somehow keep it together. I'm surrounded by people, i believe they are lovely people. Through this I notice that my tears roll down seamlessly..like diamonds falling, i have very little control over my emotions. I also notice I have such a full laugh, i like laughing, i like hearing myself laugh. I like the sound of music and i like missing old lovers listening to this sound. Nostalgia makes me, It gives me a high. My relationship with my past and with my future is so unique and its solely mine...Its what creates me. I'm driven by that. I will chase these things that make me happy and i will also scour for things that will break me, I feel human that way. As eccentric as I am, Ive found comfort and solace in my odd being. I like it now. Right now i feel like the sea..endless. I'm golden and ever flowing. :) I swear I'm not drunk writing this. This is natural intoxication and the wonderful glimmerring resolve of 'anything is possible' is an ingredient to this sunshine drug.

My friend says I'm like this because I'm an ocean of real emotion, it molds itself into an identity of its own. It sometimes moves glaciers and sometimes its silent like the quiet before a tsunami. Or maybe deeper and wider than those two. I'm larger than life.

As i write this i dream big..i love big
I live big

I see myself lying on a boat in the middle of the Mediterranean sea in 5 years. And your probably saying 'He's so unusual'

Ultimately you and I will both conclude that I'm tragically confused however I'm aware of that. I just have this unrelenting yearning to get more, to experience more of this REAL EMOTION that my friend says I'm immersed in. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT BUT I KNOW WHAT I DON'T WANT.

I'm so happy that I'm able to channel this longing without resorting to consuming the entire contents of a bottle of wine :) I guess the real emotion in me is finding expression without intoxication. Its leaping, Its coming to LIFE. Its overwhelming, its like a Spanish guitar heard in Madrid, felt under my skin.

Can i quote Sade Adu on this one?

'I'm just having a love affair with life'

Its self explanatory..with all its meanings, dimensions and repercussions.
Its all in me

:)